Memo
From Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. Crane
SSRN Seaview
Re: ‘Float’
I understand through the grapevine that there’s a problem with Seaview’s ballast tanks. I have
sent the nearest sub tender to lend a hand even before you reach port.
From Capt. Crane
SSRN Seaview
To Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
Re: ‘Float’
Dear sir,
Thank you, but we
have no problem with our ballast tanks. May I ask where you got your information?
From Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. Crane
SSRN Seaview
Re: ‘Float’
I overheard your pal
Jackson speaking to his friends at the water cooler that you were having float problems, so what else could it be but the damn ballast tanks?
From Capt. Crane
SSRN Seaview
To Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
Re: ‘Float’
Dear sir,
I’m sure I don’t
know sir. Hmm, let me think about all the different kinds of ’ float’s:
Number of shares held
in public hands-Well, NIMR isn’t a public stock company, so can’t
be that.
Fishing float (bite
indicator)-Sometimes I do give Cookie permission to ‘go fishing’ to augment the galley pantry. But he hasn’t indicated anything wrong.
Fishing net float
to make sure it hangs properly in the water-We did get tangled in one of these-I won’t say who was at the helm.
Fluid level indicator
in process engineering and plumbing-we use these floats repeatedly, especially when somebody forgets to use due caution with the waste disposal system.
Duplicate money present
in the banking system during an electronic transaction- no banks underwater.
Project time management
device-Morton would be the man to check on this, or maybe he’s the ‘float’.
Air filled structures
on a pontoon boat or seaplane-no place to stow one aboard. It’s a tight enough fit just with the flying sub.
Two wheeled horse
–drawn cart with low loadbed-the only horse aboard is a seahorse in one
of the Admiral’s specimen tanks.
Ice Cream Soda- well
what can I say, we also have root beer.
Horse trailer- we
do have a little castle for the seahorse to play in, but I don’t think you could call it a trailer.
Cascading style sheet- See Morton’s spreadsheets.
Precision binary floating
point computer numbering format-also see Morton’s spreadsheets .
Finishing tool for
smoothing wet concrete surfaces-NIMR is in constant state of repair, but concrete aboard Seaview would sink her.
Equine rasp tool for
horse teeth- we don’t have a dental plan for our seahorse.
Several songs by that
title-but Riley hasn’t played or sung any lately.
Paleontology term
to describe bits of fossil bone with no specific value-we’ve run into fossilized life forms on numerous occasions. Perhaps
this is what Joe was talking about?
From Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
To Harriman Nelson
NIMR
Re: Float
Harriman, has Crane
jumped off the deep end? You can see from this forwarded memo that either he’s being cheeky or he has ‘raptures’.
All I want to know is what the blazes Joe was talking about?
From H. Nelson
NIMR
To J. Starke
ComSubPac
Re: Float
How the hell should
I know? Why not ask him yourself?
From Adm. J. Starke
ComSubPac
To Harriman Nelson
NIMR
Re: Float
You think I haven’t?
He turns a bright shade of purple and cites ‘Special order 007’. I’m almost afraid to ask what that means.
From H. Nelson
NIMR
To J. Starke
ComSubPac
Re: Float
Hm. That is bad. I’ll
have a word with Adm. Johnson at ONI. He owes me.
From H. Nelson
NIMR
To Adm. Johnson
ONI
Re: Float
Bill, we need an answer.
What the devil are Lee and Joe up to? Something about a float and ‘Special Order 007’.
PS: ASAP!
From Adm. Johnson
ONI
To Adm. H. Nelson
NIMR
Re: Float
Neither Jackson or
Crane are on assignment, or scheduled to be so anytime soon. You’ll have to determine this ‘float’ thing
yourself.
As for ‘Special
Order 007’, utter nonsense. Perhaps the boys are pulling the wool over your eyes.
From H. Nelson
NIMR
To J. Starke
ComSubPac
Re Float
Perhaps. But be assured there is nothing wrong with Seaview.
And as soon as she docks I’m having a little talk with Lee.