SSRN Seaview-New Hire's User's Manual

SSRN Seaview-New Hire's User's Manual

Initial Orientation

Driving the Boat

You'll find your skills appreciated by all as you insure the saftey and timely arrival at your destination.

Lesson One

You'rve been given a course. And while you drive Seaview, one of your jobs will be to make sure that any inanimate object you find enroute is inanimate. The can be accomplished by lightly tapping said object to check for any reaction.

Lesson Two

If said object appears to be inanimate after tapping it, continue to regard it as animate as a precaution and keep driving to allow a little distance should it decide to rise up and attack. This has been known to happen on occassion, so many wierd things going on down there.

Lesson Three

Congratulations, it's simply a rock.

Keep driving, and put in earplugs as the Captain or worse, the XO, begin to give all sorts of conflicting orders, one of which is why the hell didn't you read their minds if they didn't want you to stay on the course they gave you.

Keep driving and take that nerve pill Doc gave you as part of your essential equipment. You're doing fine.

Lesson Four

Keep on course and log the scrapes along the hull. The Captain will need this for his pleadings with the Admiral to repaint Seaview. (He likes red.)

Well done.

Lesson Five

You're almost there. Forget the Chief breathing down your neck. You were hired by NIMR, not him. And the Captain's almost forgotten just where he wanted to go anyway.

Lesson Six

You're there! Relax and take a cigarette break while the Chief, XO and Captain confer before the Admiral demands to know just where they hell they are and why they're on the bottom.

It's not your job to say anything. Your job is to just drive the boat. And to insure that this rock is as inanimate as it appears. Until next week, that is.

Suggestions to make your term aboard Seaview uneventful:

No sleeping on the job.

This includes when diving. (Yes, you'll probably have to do that in addition to your driving the boat-this is a multi tasking sub.)

It doesn't matter that the Captain can get away with it and that sometimes the Admiral's happier without his interference. Yours is not to reason why.

Smoking

No law against it, unless the 'smoking lamp' is out, but remember Mr. Morton takes objection to excessive use and you weren't hired as a bilge tank inspector.

Eat your vegetables

The Admiral goes to a lot of trouble to insure you have the latest in nutrient rich foods. Seen here is one of his genetically engineered brussels sprouts.

Repelling boarders

Always be prepared to repel boarders whatever they may be but don't worry, the Skipper will tell you when Seaview is being threatened, unless he's the threat*, but let's not worry about that just now.

*The Skipper has a predisposition to alien takeovers, ghostly takeovers, brainwashing, beastly and creature mutations, etc. He faints a lot too. Just one of those 'Captain' things.

Keep in mind that Cookie has plenty of bulb garlic on hand and the machine shop has wooden stakes, but so far (knock on the bulkeads) Crane hasn't sucked anyone's blood yet.

READY FOR ACTION

Follow Doctor's Orders

Always follow Doc's orders be it getting your shots, x-rays, annual physicals, or a specialty procedure wtih any sort of various probes. Just because the Captain can lock himself away from Sick Bay or any medical procedures doesn't mean that you can.