Seaview Stories Newsletter-16


Mermaids are additions I added to the official patch.

Seaview Stories Total Visitors for December 2010: 38,200

Did You Know?
The term 'plot squid' (the Voyage version of a plot bunny) was first coined by fellow Voyager Kim Q in 2006 who has a wonderful site full of 'another kind' of squid than the kind we see on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; The fun cartoon kind! So butter that popcorn and enjoy these stellar vinyettes!

Plot Squid Net

Just Squishy

"Is that a yellow banana I see or a diver?"

"He sure is slippery when squished."

From: Cookie

SSRN Seaview

To: NIMR, Culinary Div.

Re: Fresh ain’t always the best


Hey, guys, no matter how much you hype the ‘fresher the better’ for us,  I gotta’ tell you, in this case, it doesn’t hold water.

Well, it was fresh all right. The dive team lugged it aboard after it nearly squished the new Skipper to death. A great big gigantic squid.


I told the XO it was called Calamari in the culinary world so he was all for the idea and convinced the Admiral to hurry up and finish taking measurements of it in the lab so I could start preparing it for supper. Morton didn’t have a clue as to what it was supposed to taste like, and the Skipper said at least  it was one way to get even with the critter. Nelson told  everyone they were in for a real treat. And he should know. Comes from old money and haute cuisine tastes. Though I have to tell you, in confidence, if he had to choose between caviar or a tuna sandwich the sandwich would win out.


So I boiled it, I baked, it, deep fried and  sautéed it. I even made squid salad sandwiches, squid ceasar salads and squid ice cream. Then there were the parts I served raw like sushi. The Food Channel would’ve been proud of me. But did anyone eat it?


Mr. Morton said his sandwich was just fine, that  it went well with the mayo. But when he thought I wasn’t looking he dumped if  off his plate.

The Skipper tried  the deep fried rings and asked Nelson if it supposed to taste and feel like old rubber.

Nelson suddenly clapped a hand to his head, then said that was probably due to the fact that the creature wasn’t one of the little dainty sized squids that find themselves in 5 star restaurants, apologizing for his oversight and not telling me that the bigger the squid, the tougher it might  become. 

By the time word got out, and believe me, aboard Seaview, that’s fast, there was a run on peanut butter and jelly. We’re out of bread now too so that means I’ll be up all night  baking.


It’s not that I’m unused to disasters. That’s what Seaview’s about. But oh the pain!

And now, they’ve just spotted some outsized ocean going catfish almost bumping into the boat, and Morton told me to get my frying pans ready. He was practically slavering. Fried catfish is one of his favorites. This time Nelson assured me that their size shouldn’t  affect their taste, but I saw him cross his fingers behind his back just the same.


Then, the Skipper told me he’ll just have some Spam if there’s any left, thank you very much.


So, guys,  even though we do try to accommodate the ‘Fresh is Best’ policy in obtaining some of our foodstuffs in the seas we traverse, and that I’m stuck fixing Mr. Morton his catfish, (if he catches any);  I’m going to stick to the canned and frozen stuff from now on, okay?




The Captain's New Year's Eve Nightmare


1. "I'm sorry, Skipper; you're not getting out of here until Next Year."


2."Should I tell Lee that Doc meant as soon as Seaview finishes crossing into the new time zone where it's already next year? Nahh."

New Caption Contest Photo

Caption Contest Newslestter 16

Caption Contest Newsletter 15

Newsletter 15 Caption Contest Winner
"Oh, crap, hide the admiral's gun. Someone's playing with Krueger's U-boat again."

Fried Calamari Rings

Just a note:
When my family and I were touring Italy on vacation (during my Air Force Dad's assignment to Germany), my sister and I thought  our parents had  ordered french fried onion rings at an outside cafe. But when Daddy started to twril the tentacles out the corner of his mouth,(on purpose) my sister and I squeeled 'eeeyooo!'
We did try them anyway. The fried coating was tasty but  the squid was tough as rubber. Actually very old rubber. Like those belonging to old tires.
I've never been brave enough to prepare any kind of calamari even these decades later when the noble squid is prepared in so many supposedly 'succulent' ways.
One of these days, perhaps I'll get brave enough to order it  from Red Lobster. Will let you know. Perhaps I should make it a project for the next newsletter!
What about your culinary experiences with the Lee's least favorite cephalpod? Let me know.