Memo
From: US State Department
To: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
Re: Mummy Matter
Receipt and official ‘Well Done’ for the return of :
(1) Sacred Sarcophagus and (1) Ancient
Mummy to a valued ally. However, please explain the following for our records:
Sarcophagus - Broken lock
Mummy - Electrical burns, several
Mummy - Gray paint, on bottoms of feet
Mummy - Bullet holes, too many to count
We realize you may have come under attack
while transporting item, however, returning frayed damaged goods not the way to win friends and influence our allies.
From: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
To: US State Department
Re: A Mummy Matter
Sarcophagus - Broken
lock: Not our fault it was broken to begin with.
Electrical
burns, several: Incurred when short in wiring too close to said Mummy.
Gray
paint, on bottom of feet: Incurred when Seaview took a ‘rock and roll’ from faulty wiring and half open can
of paint spilled on top of Sarcophagus and through the cracks to the Mummy’s feet.
Bullet
holes, too many to count: Incurred when crewmen saw what they thought was an intruder on the deck while we cleaned up
the paint.
Sorry.
From: US State Department
To: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
Re: A Mummy Matter
Well, be careful next time!
From: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
To: US State Department
Re: A Mummy Matter
Roger that.
From: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
To: Adm. Johnson, ONI
Re: A Mummy Matter
Am forwarding communication between State
and I regarding the Mummy Matter. The real story about how the Mummy came to life
and ravaged the boat and my crew has been sent to you via coded message.
You will agree that the truth is best hidden
from State and other government agencies. I don’t want my entire crew, not to mention myself, placed in straight jackets.
Seaview has too much work to do and it would be a great inconvenience without the use of our arms and hands.
By the way, do you have anyone on staff
with paranormal expertise? My Captain is still in Sickbay suffering the after effects of possession (again!) and dizzy spells.
Not to mention a whopper of a bruise placed on his cheek by yours truly.
Frankly, we’re all getting a bit
tired of whatever attraction it is he has to ghosties, goulies, and alien life forms and now apparently, cursed antiquities.
Why is it that he always seems to have stamped on his forehead, ‘space for rent, inquire within?’
Really need to find a cure.
From: Adm. Johnson, ONI
To: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
Re: A Mummy Matter
No experts available via this office. Sorry.
Any idea why the Mummy didn’t want to go back home?
From: Adm. H. Nelson
SSRN Seaview
To: Adm. Johnson, ONI
Re: A Mummy Matter
Well, considering that hotbed of political
unease, would you?
All for now. And please, for next time,
something nice and easy? Like locating and defusing an unlocateable bomb?
By the way, Happy Halloween.(Seems we have
Halloween every day, except for the candy. I don't suppose you can send us a gross of M&M's and candy corn? That should
appease the Captain while he's in Sickbay.)
Seaview out.