NELSON INSTITUTE OF MARINE RESEARCH
Admrial (ret.) Harriman Nelson
Santa BarbaraCalifornia USA
Tom, Ignore the typing, my new secretary needs the practice-
I need a U.S. distributor for my new line of SeaScoot automobiles., and I’d like you to carry this new part of NIMR quality shore/sea vehicles.
As you know, my company has been responsible for a number of successful product launches. The Submarine Seaview, the Mini Sub, and the Flying Sub are just some examples.
While the Flying Sub is nomenclatured as FS1, we’ve actually had several in stock to augment our supply as my command staff keeps crashing them (in the line of duty against perils of the sea, enemies of the West, and aliens from Outer Space you understand- I assure you, there is no flaw in the design.)
You’re aware of the success of my submarine, and that it would have broken every sales record for a new line of submarine for the US Navy if the Senate Appropriation Committee for Defense expenditures hadn’t been so damn stubborn. The recent Australian merchandising program performed well, however, as well as they at least know how to think properly, must be all that uncontaminated air down under...hmm, maybe we could bottle it...fresh outback air complete with Dingo pats...hey, that’s a good idea, Outback Air, one whiff will take you to the great outdoors...a good idea for New York apartment dwellers, businesses, and especially Wall Street....but I digress.
My new Sea Scoot automobiles will provide better ecological transportation ashore and under the sea or through rivers and lakes, and Scuba gear is not required.
In addition, Sea Scoots would help health and looks, as they’ve already helped to attract interested parties to the beach.
It’s on the beach where members of both sexes try to attract each other’s attention by flexing appropriate muscles. The Sea Scoot culd be a ‘Hey Look!’starting point for converstion and ...well, stimulating excercise, and increased blood circulation.
While I can market these myself, I owe you one from when you sent me that great book on ‘How to Establish a Commanding Presence for Idiots’during my stint as a midshipman. My very nearest and dearest still tremble at a mere glance. My employees duck for cover when I glare. Except for Crane. He’s my Captain of Seaview, and he may squirm when I’m in a mood, but he still wins most arguments with his ever present and increasingly irritating ‘Seaview’s My responsibility’ speech. Oh well, that’s what I pay him for...too much I think; it’s going to his head.
Let me know what you think.