Well, all settled in now, with barely a moment's breather-hard to realize it's been a full 4 and 1/2 months since I was drafted!
Hitting port only a few times since I 'signed' on, I still had some boxes to unpack and it was very amusing to Chip.
But he helped me out this weekend and we got it done pretty quick. Good thing I don't keep much in the way of furnishings-but I did have my overstuffed and worn out recycled chair sent out of storage. Old and ugly it is, but oh, so comfortable to relax in. And we don't get much of that at all!
Admiral Nelson is one very busy man, and Seaview is barely in port before we get sent off again somewhere to do something. I wish I could tell you more, but you of all people know the 'rules'.
She's an awesome boat, and I can't believe my luck in being offered permanency as her master.
I hope I can live up to Harry's expectations, and that you will get to meet him sometime.
By the way, he's never been married. Hint hint. Just kidding. I know you're smitten with Edwards.
So when are you two ever going to tie the knot? Maybe he just needs a shove. I'd be glad to get out and push. Really Mom, I'm sure he'd make you very happy. You light up when he's around you, and he , you. So tell him I'll fire a torpedo at him if he doesn't make up his mind soon!
Well, I'm preparing to give Seaview a surprise inspection. No, not THAT one. Just a little emergency fire drill. Most everyone's on shore leave anyway. I just got stuck 'holding the boat'. Pun intended!
So, while most of the crew if 'off' and the Admiral is happy as a clam (do clams have emotions?)speaking at a fancy seminar for scientists, I'll get to play Capt. Bligh and see just how 'on their toes' the duty crew is. I've planned it for 0430 tomorrow. So I have to make it an early night. Thank goodness for TV dinners! And a few of 'cookie's leftovers in the freezer.
Don't worry, I'm not a bag o'bones , I eat just fine. And Chip is always trying to fatten me up with his mother's little 'care' packages. Cookies, brownies, all sorts of goodies that make our resident MD groan in agony from all the gooey fat and cholesterol - what's surprising, is that Morton is fit as a fiddle and he just gobbles it all up as if there's no tomorrow! Well, not all of it. I do get to sneak a little of it away when he's not looking. But he seems pleased when he discovers a missing goodie and knows it was me.
Well, all for now. Take care. And remember I love you.
Well, here I am the guest of honor at the convention you and Chip keep sniggering at. May I remind you both that this is a serious seminar!
Why shouldn't all sea creatures have emotions? Dolphins do, octopoda do,so why not a clam or two. Now don't laugh. Just because they don't have faces or eyes, doesn't mean they don't have feelings.
You of all people should realize that our denizens of the deep certainly have feelings. Wasn't it you who brought that 'poor little octopus'aboard for me to patch up because you thought it looked upset when you squashed one of its tentacles by mistake?
Of course it was upset. It couldn't have been pleasant having a heavyweight (?) like you stomping on it. Aside from its pain, it did seem to glare at you with a vengeance, while it gave me a pleading look of 'hey, keep that guy away from me' look. It certainly helped formulate my initial theory of emotional responses from those species we thought didn't have any. And that clam dinner actually made me feel a bit guilty, hense the experiemnts.
It's not just the quality of the water that makes for a happy, healthy, and bigger clam! You saw yourself.the experiments we used to test my theories. The clams that were spoken to on a regular basis in soft tones were healthier than the ones spoken to in harsh tones. Conclusion: Clams have feelings too.
This could revolutionize the clamming industry, and open a whole new way of growing and harvesting sealife. More and better quality proteins to feed the world. Even poor nations could conceivably feed themselves with a little help in setting up farm beds for clams, fish, etc. The water can always be purified, but scheduled 'voice' inflections into the beds would stimulate increased growth of the various farmed bivalves, finned, etc. food sources.
My colleagues are warming up to my theory as my experimental data has proven effective results. I've been approached by the Dept. of Agriculture as to the possibilities of terrestrial 'crops' as well. So I'm not a nut case, as the news media seems to think.
Well, off to another conference. Having a wonderful time.
Keep my boat in shape, or else!
Well, here I am in Aculpoco. Wine, women, and song. Ahh this is the life. I have an ice cold beer in my hand, am lounging on the beach, watching the waves, among other things, hah, hah.
Having fun holding the boat? Of course you are.
I hear the press is really having field day ribbing the Old Man about his 'clam theory', as they've come to call it. I think it's a fantastic idea and surprised nobody else has even considered it.
Well, all for now, I see a positively gorgeous girl all alone on her beach towel. Time to real one in!
EMERGENCY FIRE DRILL REPORT
RESPONSE TIME:Within limits.
STATIONS MANNED: All
COMMENTS:Satisfactory but not ideal. Recommend further drills to boost both response time and expanded simulation drills to increase knowledge for immediate 'no second guessing' actions.
FAX R US
Purple Pirate Hotel
Daytona Beach , FL
PATIENT: CRANE, CDR. LEE B.
DIAGNOSIS: SCALP CUT, MINOR BURN TO LEFT HAND, ABDOMINAL BRUISING, TWISTED ANKLE.
TREATMENT: STITCHES TO CUT, CORTISONE OINTMENT TO BURN, COLD PACK AND BANDAGES TO ANKLE.
MEDICATIONS: TETANUS ANTITOXIN, ASPIRIN
DISCHARGE: SAME DAY
ATTENDING PHYSICIAN:I. AMAD OCK, MD.
Santa Barbara, California
Admiral Harriman Nelson,
Purple Pirate Hotel,
Daytona Beach, Fl.
Please don't worry. Everything's just fine. Really it is. The duty officer shouldn't have called you without getting all the facts. Please don't cancel the rest of your seminar.
From what I understand from Lee, he'd simply stumbled and slipped ,gashing his scalp on a hatch wheel, burning his hand on some cleaning compound which had smashed open, and being tossed to the deck when the boat was suddenly and heavily rocked by the boarding of the institute fire brigade.
The duty officer, O'Brian insisted on his visit to the infirmary, where he was treated and released. So there is no need for you to return. Lee has made a full report and is faxing it to you. I've seen Lee myself, and he's just fine, a bit miffed though, about the duty watch not 'compensating with ballast' for such an event as a heavy curtsy, and his own clumsiness.
Well, now, how are things on your end? The media is starting to turn from joking to admiration of your theory, but we here knew you were brilliant all the while.
Remember to relax a little, enjoy those beaches, and maybe even have a nice scuba dive. Thank you for the thoughtful card, and yes, I will certainly keep you informed of any important events.
FAXES R US
I hope you're having a good time, because I may have to call you back before your shore leave is up. Lee has gotten himself hurt again, but denys any permenent injury. This is so, according to the medical report I managed to wheedle out of Amadoc. But, Lee is the only command personell I have on standby at the time, and he has the uncanny ability to get himself hurt even when Seaview's not even underway! Genetic I guess. It was just a little fire drill, and he bashed his head against a hatch when the boat lurched. He's far more upset with himself for not expecting it, than the duty crew's not compensating with the auto ballast buttons as soon as the drill alarm sounded.
He's called for further drills and simulations, and I'm sure you'll have your hands full with boatwide bellyaching when they begin. So at least you're prepared.
I understand Aculpoco is a fine vacation resort, so just don't get too comfortable there, lounging around doing nothing…uh, did I say nothing? Hmmm. Certainly not. I'm sure you'll have plenty to show us. Sunburn and snapshots. Just make sure Ski doesn't steal them. You know how he likes to plaster his locker with pictures of pretty girls.
The seminar is almost over. Most of my colleauges agree with me and the Dept of Agriculture has put its stamp of approval on my theory. So, vindicated, I can leave some of the finer points to endless debate by farmers, scientists, and governmental red tape.
Well, off we go again into Neptune's Kingdom. The admiral is in a great mood as the 'clam theory' has been accepted without question, and Chip has a tan just bordering on sunburn. He has a gleam in his eye too, but that's not surprising, considering all the girl watching, dating, and smooching that probably went on.
This is just a simple charting assignment, so I've arranged a fair amount of simulation drills for fire, equipment failure,disasters, etc. We had an awful fire drill dockside. I should have insisted that the crew knew all fire procedures as a matter of course. So it's back to school time, for the entire crew, officer's included, me too. And I've convinced the admiral he ought to attend as well. To 'supervise'. He saw through it though, the polite term to get him to attend. But he's agreeable. Though I can't help feeling he's agreeable just to keep an eye on me! He seems to think I need looking after sometimes. Ecentric, isn't he.
We may be pulling into your neck of the sea during this assignment, in about 3 weeks I think. So better warn Honolulu! Don't worry, they're good men, they won't be enjoying their shore leave there too much. Hah hah.
Well, have a lesson to give in the 'what ifs' section of Emergency Procedures. Sigh. BOOORRRRING. But oh, so necessary.
All for now, the mailbag's here already.
?See you in Honolulu, maybe you can recommend a place for a luau.