FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson NIMR
SUBJECT: Problem

Sir, we got a problem. The crew's been taking way too much time
reading some stuff called fan fiction. Then they whisper about it
among themselves on duty and get all engrossed and don't pay
attention to anything.

FROM: Adm. H. Nelson NIMR
TO: Francis Sharkey

Don't you think you're over-reacting Chief? Angie tells me it's
nothing but blither invented by folks with over active imaginations.
Relax. Even I've read a little of what she showed me. No harm in it
at all.

FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson NIMR

Yeah? Well tell that to the Skipper when that spaghetti sauce got
splattered all over him when Patterson hit the wrong gyro. Still
can't get the stain out and it didn't help that it happened just
when he was entertaining those bigwigs you wanted him to. I mean how
you would feel if the dames with them started getting all motherly to
him. Damn embarrassing for him, you know how he feels about that.

FROM: Adm. Nelson NIMR
TO: Chief Sharkey

Accidents happen. He's a big boy Chief; he can cope with pestering

FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson NIMR

Well, this time we hit that damn rock again because Ski was yakking
to O'Brian about something called a 'plot bunny'. Skip is sporting 7
stitches in his forehead and a huge bruise on his face from hitting
the edge of the plot table not to mention a strained ankle.

FROM: Adm. H. Nelson, NIMR
TO: Chief Sharkey

Coincidence Francis, coincidence. I appreciate your concern, but
stop wasting time worrying about it not to mention paper.

FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson, NIMR

Sir, it's happened again. There he was, minding his own business,
when bam, the Skip slips on the spiral ladder and crashes to the
deck, wrenching his arm this time. Cookie wasn't paying attention to
the spills the carafe of coffee he was lugging down to the
Observation Nose made cause he had his nose in some damn story with
his other hand! Doc's put up the 'Captain' nameplate on the Sick bay
door again.

FROM: Adm. H. Nelson, NIMR
TO: Chief Sharkey

I agree Cookie was derelict in his duty, but even I've done the
same, spilling coffee that is. Can't say I'm as clumsy as Crane. But
just to satisfy you, I'll take a closer look at these stories.

FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson NIMR

Sir! You gotta' do something! I mean, I understand the crew and some
of the officers reading the stuff, but now the Skipper's into
it...he even forgot to pat the bulkhead like usual and then Seaview
gets all upset and starts to hyperventilate...I mean, you know, all
hell broke loose, like she was havin' a tantrum...reactor problems,
gyro problems, this problem, that problem. Finally the Skip recovers
himself, gets' his nose out of his story and makes it up to
her...promised her a complete new interior paint job and you know
what that means? No shore leave for any of us when we hit port!

FROM: Adm. H. Nelson, NIMR
TO: Chief Sharkey

Enough! I've got two more chapters of the new story Angie loaned me
and don't like these interruptions.

FROM: Chief Sharkey
TO: Adm. H. Nelson

Sir! Please! Cease and desist, it's blither I tell you! Blither!

FROM: Capt. Crane, SSRN Seaview
TO: Adm. H. Nelson

Sorry to report Doc's put up Chief Sharkey's name plate on the
Sickbay door, poor man, strapped in a straight jacket in the
isolation ward...
By the way Admiral, hear you're almost finished with the new story.
I have dibs on it when you're through.