Reflections
On A Nightmare
by
Pauline
A WHN for the
fourth season episode “Nightmare.” First posted on Sub-pen.
Nelson looked up from the report he was reading as
his office door opened and his secretary, Angie entered the office.
“Sorry to disturb you, Admiral, but if you don’t
need me anymore I’ll be leaving now.”
Nelson glanced at his watch. “Is it that time
already?”
Angie smiled. “Yes.
Do you need anything before I go?”
Nelson shook his head. “No, that’s fine, Angie, you
go on home. Have a good evening.”
“Thank you, sir.
Good night.”
“Night, Angie.
See you tomorrow.”
Nelson watched her leave and close the door. The office was suddenly quiet. He closed the file and rested his elbows on
the desk. Running the Institute and
operating Seaview was very complex
and time consuming. There were countless
things that needed to be kept on top of and while some of them fell to Seaview’s captain, as director of NIMR,
the ultimate responsibility was his.
That meant piles of lab reports, government memorandums and
correspondence from all over the world to review. He usually had to take a full briefcase with
him when Seaview left on one of her
many missions. This last mission had
been no exception. But that had all been
forgotten at the end….
Pushing
to his feet, Nelson walked over to the window overlooking Seaview’s secret underground sub pen. Beyond, the ocean was restless, much like his
thoughts. He stood for a moment, shoving
his hands into his pockets. He would
have walked down the corridor to Lee’s office and invited his friend to dinner,
only Lee was at home, on leave. What had
happened on the last cruise had been terrifying. He’d
talked to the lad, explained how the aliens had created the deadly illusion. The nuclear missiles, Patterson dying, being
shot by his commanding officer… Nelson cringed at that. It would have seemed like the ultimate
betrayal. Will Jamieson, Seaview’s CMO, wasn’t convinced that the
young man was totally over the experience.
But if Lee wasn’t prepared to admit that there was a problem, Harry
wasn’t going to order him to talk. Lee
was a professional and would never allow his personal feelings to interfere
with his duty. The only thing they could
do was to be there if and when Lee decided to talk. Still he didn’t like the thought of Lee
sitting at home, brooding about events.
Lee had a tendency to hide his emotions and bottle things up; it was what
made him such a good captain. Lee was
stubborn and would never show weakness or ask for help. The crew trusted him to get them through, no
matter what. Harry counted himself lucky that Lee had allowed him past the
barriers and the two had become good friends – who was he kidding; Lee was more
like a son. It was only natural that a father would be worried about his son.
Huh, now where
had that come from?
Turning, he walked back towards the desk. Lee was a
very independent and private person and would not trouble others with his
problems. Sometimes, you needed to take
the bull by the horns. Taking his jacket
from the back of the chair, he headed out, locking the door behind him and
making for his car.
******
Lee Crane sat on the beach, knees drawn up and his
arms wrapped around his long legs. His
black leather jacket was draped across his shoulders. There was something restful in the sound of
the ocean, the big swell and foaming waves crashing onto the beach. The sky was dark and threatening rain.
He was having a hard time coming to terms with what
had happened on their last cruise. He
understood, recognized, knew, that it had been an alien in human form who had put
him through the nightmare. The trouble
was that now it was a nightmare from which he couldn’t escape. He still
couldn’t silence the nagging doubts that troubled him. Nelson had explained that it had all been
down to mind control, he hadn’t really been shot. But it had been only too real at the time. He’d
lived the nightmare, experienced the pain of the gun shot. The one small victory was that he’d managed to
destroy the missile.
They had no sooner returned to Santa Barbara than he
and Nelson had been summoned to the Pentagon. Washington had not been happy
that Fail Safe had been over-ridden and a missile fired and the Russians hadn’t
been happy about it either. Moscow had
only been placated by the fact that the missile had been aimed at the United
States. As usual, the news had been kept
under wraps. The public would never know
how close the world had come to destruction.
Lee had been questioned separately at length. He knew the score, he was part-time ONI and
was used to being interrogated. This
time was over the top, though, with a half dozen psychiatrists and
psychologists in on the grilling. They
must have believed him just a little -- Nelson’s testimony had no doubt carried
a lot of weight -- and he’d been cleared to return to duty.
What was left behind was the self-doubt. It wasn’t the first time he’d been
compromised, taken over and controlled by someone or something. There were enemies everywhere, and he’d
managed to fight them off. This
time. That was maybe the biggest
nightmare of all.
He didn’t think that Jamie was entirely convinced
that he was completely back to normal, although he’d released him from Sick Bay
once the burns on his hands had started to heal.
When he had woken up in sickbay, confused and exhausted, he’d found Doc,
Nelson and Chip hovering around him. At
first he hadn’t been certain if they were real, and it took a lot of convincing
to get him to understand that it was all over.
On the voyage home, he’d managed to persuade everyone that he was fine. He’d become very adept at hiding the truth. Since
then his sleep had been interrupted by the shock of seeing Bentley ‘returned’
from the dead, the farce of the trial, the threats and taunts until he’d
finally been forced to kill his friend and surrogate father. Only in his dream, the nightmare never
ended. Nelson was really dead, the U.S.
had been destroyed, and it was all his fault.
Now that he was home, he’d had too much time to reflect. He was still
shaken up and feeling more than a little frayed around the edges.
Lee dragged his mind back to the present as a flash
of lightning illuminated the sky, closely followed by a loud boom of
thunder. The waves were creeping higher
up the sand, driven by the wind and incoming tide, crashing against the rocky
outcrop at the end of the beach. The
wind off the ocean ruffled his hair. Lee
shivered and slipped his arms into the sleeves of the jacket, wrapping his arms
across his chest. He should be heading
back before the heavens opened and he was soaked. Another flash of lightning illuminated the
clouds, followed closely by a rumble of thunder that seemed to reverberate
around the empty shore. Whatever else
was going on in his life, he loved the sea in all her moods.
Lee climbed to his feet and brushed the sand from
his jeans before heading up the path to the house. It wasn’t a good idea to be
on the beach in a storm.
******
Headed out along the back road, Nelson grumbled to
himself that Lee chose to live in such a remote location. He knew that he would never entice Lee away
from the lighthouse. Lee loved
everything connected to the sea. Nelson
couldn’t think of a more appropriate place for Lee to make his home, except
maybe a boat. Heaven forbid. He had enough
trouble keeping track of Lee as it was.
Lightning flashed as Nelson turned onto the single
track road that led to the lighthouse.
He hoped that Lee was safely inside and not out on the beach.
******
“Admiral, come in,” Lee closed the door and led
Nelson through to the lounge. “What brings you out here, sir? Is something wrong?” Lee asked, gesturing
towards an armchair.
“Does something have to be wrong for me to visit a
friend?” Nelson replied, sitting down.
“Of course not, Admiral. Would you like a drink?” Lee quickly changed
the subject.
“Thank you,” Nelson nodded. “I would have brought some takeout, but it
would have gone cold before I got here.”
“That’s okay, Admiral.” Lee moved to the sideboard
to pour the drinks.
Nelson waited until Lee returned with the
drinks. “Lee, are you all right?” he
asked gently. Lee looked tired and the
five o’clock shadow made him look even more so.
Lee nodded.
“I’m fine, Admiral.”
“All right, I won’t push you, but I’m here if you
want to talk about it.”
Lee bowed his head, fiddling with his glass. “I just
need some time. There are some things I
need to work through.”
“Have you eaten?
Nelson ventured.
Lee shrugged.
“I had a little breakfast. I
haven’t been very hungry. Nothing to
worry about, sir.”
Nelson sighed to himself. A ‘little breakfast’
probably meant a cup of coffee and half of a left-over doughnut. Damn
your stubborn streak, Lee Crane! He
wondered how far he dared to push Lee before he told him to get out. Despite
their friendship and his rank, Lee wouldn’t hesitate to tell him respectfully
to ‘butt out and leave him alone.’ Putting
his own drink down, he pushed to his feet.
“Come on lad, you need to eat, I’m
buying.”
“Admiral, you don’t have to--”
Nelson held up a hand. “Lee, don’t argue with a
superior officer,” he interrupted. “Besides, you know what Doc would say.”
“Aye, sir.” Lee gave him a shy smile. “Dinner sounds
good, thank you. Let me get my jacket. How’s it looking out there, Admiral?”
“I expected it to start pouring the whole time it
took me to get here. We’re going to get
it before too long, I’m sure.”
The famous Lee Crane grin started slowly and get
bigger. “So taking the Cobra is out of
the question?”
Nelson shook his head, a grin spreading across his
own features. It was good to see Lee
smile.
*End*