Intergalactic Takeovers Inc.
To: Agents in the field
Subject: Water Planets in the third quadrant won't quench our thirst.
It has come to the attention of the Big Crustacean that the water
planet called Earth will not be as easy to subdue as previously
believed, and we may have to quench our thirst elsewhere, at least
Our advance agent in the field managed to send a distress signal, and
we haven’t heard any more from him, though his last subliminal
intergalactic message was 'No Captain, No! Not drawn butter!
Our chief librarian has interpreted this to mean melted animal curd
which humanoids ingest. It is especially popular with shellfish among
most humanoids in their galaxy and hence, our agent in the field may
have been eaten, dunked in said 'butter' by this captain
Enough said. Tourists are advised to avoid this water planet, and
agents in the field are ordered to leave it alone until we reconnoiter
more thoroughly and decide which tactics to take. Evidently 'Trojan
Horse’ was a bad strategy, poorly planned and poorly executed. we will
have to come up with another plan to take over this world, should the
Big Crustacean want to.