To: Admiral Nelson
From: Public Relations Department
Enclosed see the new flyer we propose submitting to High Schools,
Colleges, and also to businesses with high turnover rates:

~Tired of that old, boring job? Feel unwanted and unappreciated? Is
it time for a change?~

If you're between 18 and 80 plus, there's a place for you at NIMR. We
have numerous positions in our Research, Administration, and
Housekeeping Departments. And if you're more adventurous, vacancies
aboard our primary research submarine 'Seaview' become available

All applicants are screened. Have your police,(FBI or CIA reports may
be used in lieu of police reports),Credit History, Driving record,
and Psychiatric references available. Applicants for positions
aboard 'Seaview' will be considered regardless of gender; This is an
equal opportunity submarine.

NIMR provides extended life and medical insurance for all employees,
however, submarine employees are encouraged to carry additional
private coverage*

NIMR does not provide coverage* for the following:

Allergies: (Lab experiments, recycled air,mold,sweat, dirty socks,
food, etc. found on all submarines)
Aliens/and/or UFO's/and/or Paranormals: (Abductions, takeovers or
possessions, or close contact contamination)
Being eaten or partially eaten by identified or unidentified life
forms, i.e.: plankton, jellyfish, weird things, whales, etc)
Gunshots: (by hijackers/and/or pissed off or possessed Captain
and /or Admiral/and/or crew)
Uranium poisoning:(Warnings about popping popcorn in the reactor are
Tongue lashings by the XO (milder forms of tongue lashing by Captain,
Admiral and Chief are covered)

NIMR provides most uniforms, with the exception of female
administrative staff, who are encouraged to comply with 'business
official' and 'business casual' attire. Note: However fashionable
it's become, exposing the navel* is prohibited on NIMR Grounds.

~*We're old fashioned but proud of it*~
~Become part of the team~
~Join NIMR today~