Subject: Undercover Crane
I realize that you insist on grabbing my Captain for various special assignments but it's becoming apparent that you have not resolved whatever is the problem going on at at a particular location that shall remain nameless. Mainly because neither you or Crane have ever told me just where this blasted island is. I think it's about time you came clean.
Six times, count them (6) you've sent him there. And six times he's come back, making no kind of sense, and mumbling about a man in a white suit, a midget, and saying 'The plane, the plane!'over and over again in his sleep. I know because I sent Doc into his cabin to check on him when we heard strange noises. Of course, they may have been intestinal noises as he may have swallowed the little paper umbrellas he keeps insisting on putting in his drinks.
Now, I understand the need for secrecy, but as he's also developed a taste for voodoo, hairy monster movies, and fencing along the corridors aboard, all of which are very scary for the crew.
I'm concerned you may have directly or indirectly affected his mind with whatever it is you have him do on that island.
I'm requesting you remove him from his status as a field agent with ONI, until you can prove you haven't driven him insane.
Request denied. Besides our best agents have to be insane, it's part of the job description. What do you think Roarke's Island is anyway, some kind of Fantasy?
P.S. Might be a good job for you. Interested?
Roarke's Island? Are you out of your mind? You know, these reality tv shows are getting a bit out of hand, and I don't agree that it's good training for ONI agents. Crane's a basket case. When will you tell him they were all fake assignments?
Only when they finally air them on TV. They're still looking for a sponsor and maybe a new host. I don't suppose you'd care to spring for it?
Very well, anything to get Crane back to normal, whatever that is. P.S. I look awful in a white suit.
Okay, how about a Tux?
Make it one with a blue cumberbund and you've got a deal.
***End Radio Log***
Ep. #4 Voodoo/Family Reunion
Ep.#76 The Chateau/White Lightening
Ep.#85 Man Beast/Ole Island OpryEp.#87 Show Me a Hero/Slam Dunk
Ep.113 Everybody Goes to Gilleys/Face of Fire
Ep.150 Don Juan's Last Affair/Final Adieu
Currently TVLAND is airing Fantasy Island.