You see a sign saying "Crane Hire", and immediately wonder if you can rent the SEAVIEW's Captain for a week or two.
Someone asks you if you want some chips, and you ask "Chip's what?"
You climb down a spiral staircase and are very disappointed not to come to the control room at the top (first season!).
You climb down a spiral staircase and are very disappointed not to come to the control room at the bottom (rest of series!).
A friend tells you she's spending her holidays staying in SEAVIEW, and your mind sees anything but seaside foarding houses.
You can't help but agree with adverts that say Ski is a full of fitness food.
You stare transfixed at the ventilator grille in Lewi's basement because it's just the right size and you expect to see Lee Crane's face behind it.
You go to visit a friend who's in bed with a cold and cheerfully inform her you've got just the cure for it; a bash over the head with a sledgehammer or a quick jolt of 20,000 volts.
The red-tipped clouds of a beautiful sunset evoke the horrified cry from you of "The sky's on fire!".
A fellow diner passes you the salt and you refuse it, saying you don't want to live dangerously.
A familiar repetitive ringing in your ears sends shivers of delight down your spine. You pay a visit to Trafalgar Square in London and are most upset because the guy atop the pillar doesn't in the slightest resemble the Nelson you know.
You name your new houseplant Leviathan because it's over six feet tall and won't stop growing.
You beseige your local pet shop with requests for a jellyfish because it'll make your model submarine in the fishtank look more authentic.
You spend your vacation in Venice humming a little tune and looking for the Hotel Dandalo.
You think you are seeing things when a guy at work walks into the office in a beige shirt, black tie and trousers, and you only catch a glimpse of him at first out of the corner of your eye.
You blame enemy agents for the recent appalling weather.
You wish you had a lifesize model of Admiral Nelson programmed to do your every bidding.
You get up at 05:00 on a winter Saturday morning and travel halfway across the country to see the reruns only one TV station ever shows any more. *
You get a new job and move halfway across the country in the hope there'll be more of the reruns only one TV station ever shows any more. *
You stand for 45 minutes in Woolworths' audio/visual dept. in a strange town in front of one of their TVs watching THE WAX MEN until one of the staff turns up the sound for you, and turn round when the episode is over to find half the staff standing in an amused semicircle behind you, watching you watching the TV. **
* This really happened
** More than once!!
©copyright Carole Whittaker. Reproduction only with permission
of the author. First published in "The Seaview Log II", July 1994