In the Pink

By Seaview Siren

Based on a plot idea by Agent Catfish

Seaview was ready to sail, the destination, the Arctic Circle. They had been instructed by Washington to check pollution levels there.

Dr. Franklin Zorawicz was working out there in an undersea laboratory conducting experiments with various gases and Washington was concerned about his pollution readings.

Admiral Nelson, the true scientist he was and ever concerned about the environment had instantly agreed to the mission and got his Captain to assemble the crew.

There was however a fly in the ointment, a big fly, a TV camera crew filming a Documentary.

The idea was to film 'Life on board a Submarine' .Admiral Nelson had been persuaded to agree to it.

He hated this kind of publicity but the crew had been excited so he had relented. Captain Crane was none too keen.

Ever the cautious one, he saw them being aboard as nothing but trouble.

They had caused more hassle arriving than the entire crew with their bags and camera's. There were only three

people but they'd bought so much gear that Captain Crane had shot Admiral Nelson a knowing look.

This wasn't his idea of a fun mission at all. The visitors had been assigned the largest guest cabin.

Though located in ‘officer’s country’, Admiral Nelson wanted as little to do with them as possible.

*

“Lee, the new wetsuits have just arrived,” Chip Morton said, clipboard in hand, “we’re loading the crate now.”

“Right Chip, keep it stowed until we reach the co-ordinates.”

Chip nodded and gave the order, turned back to Lee; “Those new wetsuits the Admiral ordered are quite advanced aren’t they?”

“Made to withstand icy temperatures better than all of the worn gear we finally had to dispose of last week. These have built

in technology for superior insulation.”

“To change the subject,” Chip said, “how does the Admiral feel about the TV crew?”

“About the same as we do.”

“Which means, he doesn’t like the idea either.”

Chief Sharkey was in the missile room with some crewmen overseeing the loading of supplies.

“Stow the crate of diving gear over there,” he said pointing near the racks of oxygen tanks. “We’ll unpack

the wetsuits once we get to the Arctic Circle”

“Chief are we all gonna’ be on TV?” Kowalski asked him after they'd all finished stowing

the crate.

“You fancy a career in showbiz Kowalski?”

“Hardly showbiz is it? 'Life on a submarine?’ documentary?”

“I'm gonna’ get me a shave and wash my hair anyway,” Riley said, “the girls might watch it!”

“Why don't you get a haircut and a beauty treatment while you're at it Riley!” Chief told him shaking his head at the blond surfer.

“He's already had one Chief!” Patterson put in with a grin.

“Then he missed a bit!” Chief replied.

*

Lee poured himself a coffee and looked out through the viewport of the miles and miles of dazzling blue ocean.

He never got tired of life at sea even though this mission wasn't anyone’s idea of fun. Their guests were already getting on his

nerves as much as the Admiral's.

“Everything alright Lee?” Nelson asked as he strode down the spiral ladder.

“Fine, Sir. You didn't bring your personal assistant aboard for this mission?”

“Claire?” Nelson smiled, “oh she wanted to come along but I finally persuaded that girl to take a vacation. She works too hard.”

Lee nodded in agreement but was disappointed, Claire was usually a welcome distraction for him and he could certainly

use one for this mission.

The ‘Docu-director’ alerted them via intercom that they were starting their interviews and camera recordings in the galley

to be followed in sickbay.

“What mood is Cookie in today?” Chip put in making Admiral Nelson laugh.

(Cookie was more than a little temperamental.)

“They'll soon find out!” Lee replied.

“I've got some of Dr. Zorawicz's reports to read Lee,” Nelson said, “I'll be down in the Lab.”

“Aye, Sir I'll keep you informed.”

“Do you want to be on the special, Lee?” Chip now asked him.

“No, I don't, you?” Lee asked.

Chip smoothed his blonde hair, “I don't mind” he admitted.

“I'll tell them that when they're up here causing havoc!” Lee said seriously, then

walked over to the radio shack.

“Any messages Sparks?”

“Not as yet, Sir” Sparks replied.

Lee sighed. He had a funny feeling developing about this mission. He didn't know what it was though. Maybe there would

be some surprises in the Arctic Circle when they got there.

*

Chief Sharkey made some routine checks of the circuitry and reactor rooms. These were some of the areas off limits to the TV crew and the skipper had made a point about security. A little later on his ‘tour’, Sharkey heard movement in one of the admiral’s labs and opened the door.

“Oh, do excuse me, Sir” he apologised to Nelson. “I was checking the lock and the door wasn’t secure.”

“That’s alright, Chief, come on in. While you’re here, let me show you how these pollution detectors work, especially as you'll

be part of the diving team.”

“I sure hope those new diving suits do all they say! That water’s going to be darn cold!”

Nelson pressed some buttons on the small black square device he held, “They should do fine. They were highly recommended to me.”

“How's this thing work then?”

“The display will warn you in numbers of the readings. Just press it in and hold it over the

outlets to the sea-lab. If the readings indicate a high level, it could be a problem

with the ventilation system. If so we can rectify the problem.”

Chief Sharkey nodded.

“We’ll need twelve divers to inspect the sea-lab. It’s large and has several connecting tunnels to the main unit and all have outlets that must be checked. I want four groups of three divers. Captain Crane will lead one group, you the other, then Kowalski and Patterson the other two.”

“Aye, Sir,” Sharkey said reluctantly.

“Think of it as testing the new gear. Procurement will want a review for any future purchases.”

*

“We're nearing the co-ordinates Skipper,” Mr. Morton informed Lee after a grueling few days of having their lives interrupted

over and over with nosy interviewers and cameras in their faces as they had sailed the sub closer to their destination.

“Admiral?” Lee said clicking the mike, “we'll be within the co-ordinates in ten minutes. Chief Sharkey? Prepare the gear,

and assemble the divers.”

“Aye, Sir.”

*

“You heard the skipper, Ski. Get a crowbar and get that crate opened up.”

As soon as the crate’s lid was pryed open, Kowalski burst out laughing, “Man is this a joke or what?”

“What the hell?” Sharkey asked, as the men, in various states of undress stared at the contents.

“Is it April Fool's Day or something?” Riley asked.

Just then Nelson and Crane walked in.

“We got a problem,” Sharkey said.

Lee strode to the crate before Nelson and stopped short.

“What the blazes?” Lee gasped, picking up one of the wetsuit jackets. “Pink wetsuits? You ordered us PINK wetsuits?” he

asked Nelson, aghast.

“I didn't order pink! I don’t know who the devil sent these! Get me the institute!”

“Belay that for now. What can they do? We need insulated wetsuits for the mission to succeed.”

“But Skipper,” Sharkey said, “you can’t expect us to go out in these things?”

“If we wear these,” Patterson said, “we’ll be the laughing stock of the institute, and the Navy!”

“And the documentary!” Riley moaned. “Everyone in the world will see us! Bad enough they’re pink, but they’re neon pink!”

“It says here Bubble-gum Pink on the label,” Lee said as he examined the wetsuits more thoroughly, curious about the built

in insulation. They had thick exteriors and were lined with something like fur but waterproofed. There was an instruction

booklet attached to each.

“Stupid color,” Lee muttered, “but depress this little button on the jacket and it heats the faux fur inside.”

“Like an electric blanket?” Sharkey asked.

“Apparently. Get suited up, men. I’ll be back in a moment.”

“But Skipper!” Riley whined. “My buddies, my….”

“Do you really want to spend time in the brig for disobeying a direct order? Look, I don’t like the color either. But there’s not

a damn thing we can do about it. Now, let’s behave like the men we are and do our duty. Understood?”

“The skipper asked you bozos a question!” Sharkey said in the silence.

Dejected “Aye, Sir’s” echoed through the missile room.

“Very well. I want to check on something before I suit up.”

“And I need to check this with the institute, even though I know we’re stuck with the merchandise for now,” Nelson said,

heading out with Lee.

*

“Maybe I’ll just settle for the brig,” Ski said as soon as Nelson and Crane had departed.

“Me too,” Riley added.

“Look, guys,” Sharkey said. “The skip’s counting on us. And the admiral…and what about the mission? We really gonna’

let the Skip go out all alone? He will, you know…”

“We’ll never live it down, Chief,” Ski said.

“That may be but I ain’t gonna’ let the skip go out without a dive buddy. Even if I gotta’ look like a sissy boy. And if

you were any kind of men, you wouldn’t let him work himself a minute longer than it would take with us helping him.

Now, what’s it gonn’a be? The brig, or doing what’s right?”

*

Admiral Nelson hadn't been able to get through to anyone at NIMR and re-read the top secret communique he’d received

before he took the mission. Taking it to Chip in the control room he filled the XO on the situation aboard Seaview and at

the sea-lab.

“We have no choice but to go out if the men won’t,” Nelson said, “you, me, and Lee. Zorawicz was working with quite a

few gases trying to convert them to safer energy, but unknowingly causing pollution, some of it hazardous.”

“I can’t believe the men would disobey Lee.…”

“Well, they did agree, but they about as near to mutiny as they can be. I wouldn’t be surprised if they really do mutiny.”

Just then Lee joined them, waving something.

“I knew that shade of pink was just too familiar,” he said. “Then I remembered Claire was working on something. Look at this.”

It was a insignificant half page advertisement.

“'Wear Pink for breast cancer'” Nelson read. “I don’t understand, Lee.”

“It’s our ticket to the sea-lab! C’mon. O’Brien, take the conn. Keep her steady.”

“Aye, sir.”

*

“I’m sorry, sir,” Chief Sharkey said as soon as Lee, Chip, and Nelson arrived. “They won’t budge. Never would have

thought it of ‘em.”

“Very well,” Lee said, “but I want all of you to listen to me. What if I told you that by wearing these pink diving suits

you would be showing your support of the breast cancer charity ‘In the Pink’?”

They all stared at him.

“All right. Maybe not. But how many of your loved ones have suffered this or died from the complications?”

“My sister,” Ron said, sitting down on the edge of the crate, “she died from it three years ago.” “Man that's pretty

tough” Riley told him.

“So,” Lee said, “what if we turned this bad situation around? We could even get the TV crew something to highlight our

support for the charity? A charity that helps with research for a cure, for hospitalization, for medicines, chemo, and more?”

“But… I don't know, Sir” Kowalski pondered. “Pink,” he moaned.

“We're not scared of looking ridiculous for a good cause now are we?” Lee asked gently.

“My mother had breast cancer so I'm in,” Patterson spoke up, “I guess.”

“And me, it’s a horrible disease” Phil agreed. “My aunt’s breast cancer spread all the way up to her brain…”

“OK OK! Stop it already, I’ll go,” Kowalski shouted.

“Guess that's me as well then,” Riley agreed.

“Anyone else?” Lee asked.

Soon all of the assigned divers were busy getting suited up, as were Lee and Sharkey.

“Chip?” Lee said, “we need some kind of donation buckets scattered about. And go ahead and get the TV crew in here now.

They can go to the Observation Nose later.”

*

“Hey get my best side!” Riley joked, fooling around when the docu-director entered the missile room with his team,

accompanied by Morton.

“Pink?” Grey asked as dumbfounded as his team.

“We’re supporting ‘In the Pink’,” Chip said. “We’re also have been taking in some monetary donations from the crew.”

The divers took the detection devices and headed for the escape hatch. Three at a time as the cameras rolled, then the TV

crew and Morton headed forward to the Observation Nose. Nelson went back to the lab.

*

The divers neared the sea-lab and split up into their groups, swimming in different directions toward the various outlets.

They were more visible in the inky water than the normal wetsuits would have been. Lee informed Seaview’s control room

that the suits were pleasantly warm. Kowalski reported a reading of eight which was too high, Patterson reported the same.

Admiral Nelson contacted Zorawicz and let him know. Both men were very concerned.

As the rest of the divers checked the outlets, their readings were the same, and they were all ordered to return to Seaview

except for Sharkey and Patterson. Nelson would meet them inside the sea-lab.

*

“Check that switch Sharkey,” Nelson ordered, pointing, after he joined Sharkey and Patterson dripping on the wet mat.

“It might be a fault from here, throwing out false readings.”

Dr Zorawicz handed Admiral Nelson some papers containing his theories and methods, all present and correct.

“The fuse's are blown in the environmental control switches!” Sharkey shouted.

“Now that would affect the readings!” Admiral Nelson said and helped to correct the problem with Sharkey and Patterson,

checking all of the environmental controls. With a final check inside and out of all the outlets, the readings were down

substantially and verified that there were no hazardous pollutants.

“Mission accomplished,” Nelson reported to Seaview, the sound of applause rippling throughout the boat.

*

“We've almost filled the money buckets” Chip said, joining Lee and Nelson in the Observation Nose.

“It was a damn good idea of yours, Lee” Admiral Nelson said, “turning a near mutiny into a mission of life.”

“I think the credit belongs to Claire and her magazine.”

“I'll tell her that when she gets back,” Admiral Nelson said smiling.

“What about those diving suits? Can you get a refund?” Chip asked.

“I’m not sure we should send them back even if we could,” Lee said. “They certainly proved their worth, handled the

temperatures perfectly, ideal for the mission.”

“And the charity,” Nelson said, “the TV crew said it was great PR. And we'll no doubt visit this area again.”

Chip was about to object when Chief Sharkey came up then carrying a tray covered up with galley towel.

“What have you got there Chief?” Lee asked him.

“Compliments of Cookie, Sirs” Chief said and removed the towel.

The officers stared at the cake made to resemble a pair of boobs, complete with Maraschino Cherries for nipples.

They all erupted into laughter.

There was just one problem. None of them were brave enough to cut into it.

“Oh good grief,” Sharkey said, “it’s just a cake…er…um…Kowalski? Get your sorry ass over here. I got a mission for you!”

THE END

*’In the Pink’ here is fictitious.